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  • Writer's picturebfulmer123

He said, "You've got the job".


"But can you tone yourself down?" Huh?

I was in my late twenties and had just had the third and final interview for an Account Executive position at the largest advertising agency in town. My dream job, at the time.

I GOT THE JOB! Or did I?

The truth is they offered ME the job, but they wanted someone else. Someone more 'toned down'. Someone less ME.

Somehow, at the early age of twenty something, I knew not to accept their offer and avoid:

- taking a position that required me to not be my full self

- pretending to be someone else for a big fat salary

- believing I could change their mind about me over time

- getting in the way of the right person being hired

- being the perfect person in the perfect job for me

That was a pivotal moment in my career that set me free to be me. I would not have had the exceptional career opportunities I've enjoyed, had I let the feeling of being chosen outweigh the value of being me.

As a job seeker, the job offer is a two way conversation. Being wanted is not enough. Being a good fit for them is not enough. Ensure that it is a good fit for you, your personality, your values, your wants and needs.

You be you, everyone else is taken!

For career tips, follow me on LinkedIn, or find your answers in my book, Ditch Your Career Plan at

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Molly Stadum
Molly Stadum
Sep 19, 2023

OMG this is EXACTLY what happened with MY last job I left my prior job to take it even! It WAS pivotal for me too to realize I was not what they wanted they wanted me to fit their smaller space and become what they wanted. And I too thought I didn't want to prevent someone meant for this position from getting it. It's a hard choice to walk away from a new job but I knew, like you, it was pivotal in the first step in being true to me. Thank you for sharing yours! You are so right about everything!!!

Sep 19, 2023
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I shouldn't be surprised we experienced such similar situations. Love your comment and the validation of how real this is in the world of work.

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